Just for this morning, I will let you choose what you want to wear, and smile and say how perfect it is.

Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry, and pick you up and take you to the park to play.

Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.

Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles.

Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one if he comes by.

Just for this afternoon, I won’t worry about what you are going to be when you grow up, or second guess every decision I have made where you are concerned.

Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me bake cookies, and I won’t stand over you trying to fix them.

Just for this afternoon, I will take us to McDonald’s and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys..

Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how you were born and how much I love you.

Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry. Just for this evening, I will let you stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.

Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you for hours, and miss my favorite TV shows.

Just for this evening when I run my finger through your hair as you pray, I will simply be grateful that G-d has given me the greatest gift ever given. I will think about the mothers and fathers who are searching for their missing children, the mothers and fathers who are visiting their children’s graves instead of their bedrooms, and mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer senselessly, and screaming inside that they can’t handle it anymore.

And when I kiss you good night I will hold you a little tighter, a little

longer. It is then, that I will thank G-d for you, and ask him for nothing, except one more day…..

This was written by a 29 year old father whose 10 year old daughter, Rachel, who suffers from brain cancer.  The only way to save her is through operation.  Please send your prayers to this family in hopes that this little girl will live a full and happy life

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?



Why women can’t put on mascara with their mouth closed?



Why don’t you ever see the headline “Psychic Wins Lottery”?



Why is “abbreviated” such a long word?



Why is it that doctors call what they do “practice”?



Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?



Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?



Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?



Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?



Why do cows fly on GoofyAuctions.com but the cheese is green?



When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?



Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?



Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?



You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff??



Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?



Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?



If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?



If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?



In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:



On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (that’s the only time I have to work on my hair).



On a bag of Fritos:! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?



On a bar of Dial soap: “Directions: Use like regular soap.” (and that would be how???….)



On some Swanson frozen dinners: “Serving suggestion: Defrost.” (but, it’s “just” a suggestion).



On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): “Do not turn upside down.” (well…duh, a bit late, huh)!



On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: “Product will be hot after heating.” (…and you thought??…)



On packaging for a Rowenta iron: “Do not iron clothes on body.” (but wouldn’t this save me more time?)



On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine: “Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.” (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)



On Nytol Sleep Aid: “Warning: May cause drowsiness.” (and.. .I’m taking this because???….)



On most brands of Christmas lights: “For indoor or outdoor use only.” (as opposed to…what?)



On a Japanese food processor: “Not to be used for the other use.” (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I’m a bit curious.)



On Sunsbury’s peanuts: “Warning: contains nuts.” (talk about a news flash)



On an American Airlines packet of nuts: “Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.” (Step 3: maybe, uh…fly Delta?)



On a child’s superman costume: “Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.” (I don’t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)



On a Swedish chainsaw: “Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.” (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.  "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that’s why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE . "I brought you into this world , and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING . "You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR . "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You’re just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.